Many of us are anxious during election seasons, particularly this one when so much is on the line for my birth country. When I’m feeling freaked out and depressed, I turn to things that make me happy, i.e., soothing music—something I put on while I’m cooking comfort food. Here are a few things that make me happy despite the chaos inundating our world.
Movie: Bookworm Last night, while scrolling Apple TV aimlessly searching for a good film (so rare these days), I came across “Bookworm.” The striking picture (and eyes) of Elijah Wood caught my attention, and the trailer stole my heart. As a father of two “biological” daughters in my first half of life, the intellectual and “cute as a button” daughter, the awkward father, the camping and adventure theme, and the stunningly beautiful New Zealand landscapes lured me into a movie genre I would never usually watch. And I’m so glad I did. For two magical hours, it filled me with joy.
Series: The Perfect Couple: Yet another genre I usually detest. But Gina had watched it and thought it would lighten my mood. And she revealed that one of my heartthrobs and former neighbors, Nicole Kidman, was the star. It was a nice escape, but I was surprised that my favorite part was the catchy cast dance during the series intro. You can dance with them on Netflix.
Music: Chicago Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is (Piano Intro) from the original Chicago Transit Authority (Remastered) album. I was sixteen when I first heard the five-year-old album, and my musical life was forever changed. I had never heard anything like it. Their genre-crossing jams and daring disregard for convention made me a lifelong fan. The album never ceases to make me a happy man. Speaking of…
Chicago Deep Cut: Happy Man Whenever I feel down, I cue up the calm syncopated rhythms of the bossa nova and the soothing edge of Pete Cetera (another former neighbor) and listen to this obscure song on The Studio Albums 1969-1978 Vol.1.
Book: Salvador Dali: Diary of a Genius There is something to be said about reading the diary of someone who is even more narcissistic than T***p. However, Dali’s constant erection was intellectual rather than physical.
Drink: Vermouth In America, dry vermouth was something to put in a martini, and sweet vermouth was a lowly ingredient for a Manhattan and used as a cooking substitute when no dry white wine was available. But here in Spain, it has a starring role. Instead of “hard” liquor for cocktails, a vermouth (vermut) is enjoyed on its own merit. Who knew there were so many vermuts? One reason it’s so popular is its far lower alcohol content (and bonus: far fewer calories); therefore, a coherent conversation can be maintained during the usual four to five-hour dinners that end around midnight. I have adopted the custom (sometimes), and vermuts make me happy rather than whiskey, which can make me tipsy and, often during election season, depressed.
Art: Normal Magazine If you’ve known me for any length, you know I appreciate the beauty of the female body. These magazines, limited-edition books, videos (and the website) arouse and enlighten the artist and sensual being within.
Food: Pintxos This heavenly concoction is a slice of bread or toast (or anything that can serve as a base, such as a pickle) with a topping, usually skewered with a toothpick. It is a popular menu item in bars and taverns in Basque Country, particularly in San Sebastian. We also have Pintxos bars here in Barcelona. We’re going to one tonight. Yes, I feel the need for a bit more happiness.
Comedy: Desi Lydic To paraphrase a quote from my childhood, “Laughter is the Best Medicine,” in times of great distress. Randy Rainbow, Seth Myers, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, and Stephen Colbert have all helped us laugh at the evil and horror of T***p and the distressing dumbing down of America. And this election season, The Daily Show’s Desi Lydic’s disarming comedy, good looks, and intellectual prowess have captivated Gina and me. That combination lets her pull off jokes and comments that her male counterparts would never dare.
Poetry: Do Not Go Gentle Into the Good Night When I encounter a stunning work of genius like this poem, I wonder how Dylan Thomas could have escaped me for so long. His intense lyricism and highly charged emotion grab me by the balls. This poem is especially relevant to the age and time I find myself today.
Writing: The prose of Kate Atkinson in A God in Ruins In the words of Browning, whose poetry thankfully I am acquainted with, some writers help one see, and then there are those he calls “maker-sees,” who are so gifted they are in another class of genius all their own. Kate Atkinson is a maker-see. Her writing sends chills along my spine, and this book is a brilliant cautionary tale about the horrors that come along with the kind of fascism that T***p and his fellow Republicans offer. Somehow, she manages a twist at the end of this tragic post-modern tale that, for a moment, at least, gives hope and joy.
Sexuality: The Ethical Slut Please disregard this unfortunate title. It is one of the most enlightening books I’ve ever read. It is like a healing balm for my being. 80-year-old Dossie Easton, a family therapist, writes it. And when I discovered her age, I was shocked. She is far more progressive than a person of any age I have ever encountered. But the wisdom gained from eighty years of life is a treasure for those a bit younger, especially for those of us who grew up in the repression of a fundamentalist religion. It is a skillfully and well-written book about sexuality, freedom, and integrity. Oh my.
Watercolor: Studies of eyes, breasts, cocks, and colors. Yes, these four objects of mystery and beauty make me extraordinarily happy. And I’m no longer ashamed to admit it.
Sex. With my sensual partner, myself, my tantric therapist, and in fantasy. Sex calms me, soothes me, and makes me feel immortal. In one of my all-time favorite movies, Midnight in Paris, Ernest Hemingway says this (my paraphrase): When you make love with a truly great person, the fear of death completely disappears. For that moment, when you are making love with a person of true greatness, you will feel immortal. I believe that love that is true and real creates a respite from death. Until it returns, as it does to all humanity. And then you must make really good love again. Think about it.
Walking the Streets of Barcelona I never want to grow so accustomed to the magical avenues (calles), alleyways (callejóns), plazas (plaças), and gardens (jardins) of this vibrant and historic city, that I take for granted the enchantment of living in one of the happiest most peaceful places on earth. I never want to quit saying, “Pinch me, I think I’m dreaming.” It is hard to describe the euphoria of strolling these ancient passageways.
Comfort food: Long-cooked Italian Bolognese If you’ve known me long, I have probably cooked bolognese for you. It is my ultimate comfort food. The entire five-hour process brings me joy. From the moment I chop the fragrant vegetables, pour the aromatic olive oil, open the rich red fresh meat, and steal a sip of the milk and dry white wine before I add them, the sensual feeling of crushing the whole peeled tomatoes with my bare hand and watching them spurt their juices, savoring the spices of nutmeg and the intense aromas of fresh parmesan-reggiano, I feel contented, warm, cozy, and yes, happy, as the nostalgic smells waft through the house all day as it simmers, followed by the ultimate reward of enjoying one of the most perfect gastronomic unions on earth: long-cooked bolognese, fresh-made tagliatelle, and a delicate Italian Nebbiolo red wine—the acidity in a red sauce and red wine is a sublime pairing—sheer bliss.
What is making you happy? Please leave a comment below. It will make us all happier!
See My All-New Watercolor “Fragmentation” HERE.
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2 responses to “What’s Making Me Happy”
I really appreciate this list of the things that bring you joy when you’re feeling blue. I have been filled with such sorrow from your posts where you have shared the shame and sadness that had caused your repressed soul to harden your heart. But this was light and brought an inquisitiveness to my mind, that I want to delve into several of these things that lift you up. I am fascinated by watercolor as a medium. It seems uncooperative, in that you must be deliberate in the placement of color, or not in places where you want to leave white space. I think it’s dangerous to try to interpret an artist’s work that it is likely as a viewer, you will miss the whole intent of the piece. The latest “fragmented” work was definitely a departure for you. I appreciate the bright colors which force my eyes to find other meaning than just a posed nude body. And while I’m critiquing your work, (you did ask) I feel the body language of the nude is that she is purposefully hiding her exposed body. While her facial expression shows a vulnerability and desire to open up. Don’t even get me started on politics. I don’t express my views with many people, but I can say we agree about the idiot T—-p. I too am worried about the upcoming election and will cast my vote and pray hard that God will have mercy on this country.
Thanks so much, Becky, for your thoughtful and insightful words. They are very encouraging. And thanks so much for being an active part of my community.
Randy