If I influenced the pulpits and pens of Christian pastors and authors, I’d tell them to cease and desist all Christian clichés and speak plainly. Not in “Christian-speak.”
Pardon me, while I “preach to the choir.”
Can we please “can” the overused expressions that substitute for original thinking?
The first time you hear these buzzwords, they work. But after a few Sundays, it’s like “listening to a broken record.”
Take pastor speak.
Disgruntled Christians “backslide.” Happy Christians have an “anointing.” Good behaving Christians are guaranteed “health, wealth and prosperity.” Bad behaving Christians will be “chastised and spanked.”
People who are not Christian are “lost.” And everyone should know that “All you need to do to go to heaven is ask Jesus into your heart.” “Can I get an amen?”
Author speak is equally painful.
Consider these recent excerpts from best-selling Christian books. “Bloom where you are planted.” “What’s God doing in your life?” “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” “It takes more faith to be an atheist than a Christian.” “Your best life now!” “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship.” “God always answers prayer, sometimes it’s just no.”
What is wrong with “plain ‘ole everyday” English conversation? “Each and every one” of these clichés give me “a healthy dose” of “existential angst.”
And “last but not least” maybe we should “think outside the box” and utilize the “King’s English” like Shakespeare and get to the “bottom line” by inventing new ones.
Here is a list of updated clichés from WIRED:
- Hindsight is always 1080p.
- One #hashtag does not a trending topic make.
- Too many hosts spoil the podcast.
- That’s a hard act to unfollow.
- 140 characters to the wise is sufficient.
- The bandwidth is always greener on the other side of the firewall.
- E-mail, Twitter, and Facebook are three best friends and three worst enemies.
- People who live in glass houses shouldn’t check their address on Google Street View.
- A fool and his passwords are soon parted.
- He’s 10 bits short of a byte.
Question: So “in conclusion,” could you “share a word of testimony” and tell us how “you and Jesus are doing” with your “favorite” cliché?
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10 responses to “Quick Relief For Christian Clichés”
Clichéd sayings have made things dull and boring. I have my favorite quotes from bible but I make sure I keep refreshing my list.
Yes, thanks. I also need to keep hitting refresh. Thanks, Rodrigo.
Brilliant! I love the updated ones too!
I was raised in the church so I know (and have used) just about every cliche out there. My wife (I’m a newlywed!) has only been in the church for the past 5 years so she keeps me grounded. When she talks about God, she speaks like a normal human without any “Christianese”. It helps me weed those phrases out of my own speech.
Nice!! Congratulations by the way, Tony!
PS – A friend has just reminded me that ‘under the blood of the Lamb’ is possibly one of the grossest Christian phrases ever invented…
Katie,
I would have to agree with that.
My favourite ‘Christianese’ phrase was one I heard a lot in my single days when I’d be freaking out about dying a spinster. Annoyingly well-intentioned youth leader types (who had generally been married since shortly after puberty) would come up to me and say ‘God has got the PERFECT guy for you and he’ll show up just as soon as you STOP LOOKING.’
Bless.
Oh my goodness. Me too. Me too.
Excellent! Thanks for the challenge. The battle against using Christian cliches is ongoing for me. I find it exhilairating to come up with a fresh new to way to say something without using a worn out expression.
Thanks, Lamar. May your tribe increase!!