For the past year, I’ve been experiencing tantric massage therapy here in Barcelona, and at 65 years old, it’s the first time in my life I’ve ever done anything like this. What began as a completely serendipitous encounter has become a profound healing journey that has transformed my relationship with my body and myself.

I had initially gone in for just a shiatsu massage (the Chinese walking on back method) when my therapist asked if I had ever experienced tantric massage. When I admitted I hadn’t, she asked if I would like to try it. I gulped, hesitated, and finally summoned the courage to say yes—a moment of bravery that would change everything.

Physical Healing from Religious Trauma

Tantric massage works directly with the body’s energy systems through mindful, deliberate touch. For me, this has been physically healing from decades of religious trauma surrounding my body. Growing up with strict Judeo-Christian messaging, I had internalized deep shame about my body and its natural functions.

Through regular sessions, I’ve experienced release of tension I didn’t even realize I was carrying in my muscles and tissues. This physical unburdening has improved my circulation and reduced pain in areas that had been chronically tense for years. The breath work incorporated in the sessions has taught me to oxygenate my body more effectively, bringing new vitality to tissues long deprived of full breath.

Emotional Liberation

Perhaps the most significant benefits for me have been emotional. Learning to let go of control during sessions—to truly allow my therapist to guide the massage without blocking or being triggered—has been revolutionary. I can still vividly recall our first breakthrough session when my therapist smiled broadly and exclaimed, “Oh, this is beautiful, isn’t this beautiful!” Her genuine joy and acceptance in that moment washed away decades of shame that had caged my body.

The deep relaxation achieved during sessions has alleviated anxiety I didn’t even recognize was constant in my life. The mindful nature of the practice has taught me to stay present with sensations, which has transferred to my daily life, helping me manage stress more effectively. I’ve noticed improved mood, greater emotional balance, and increased resilience since incorporating tantric massage into my wellness routine.

Spiritual Reconnection

Contrary to what I was taught by prudish American culture and religion, I’ve discovered that the pathway to pleasure is indeed a spiritual one. In tantric philosophy, physical wellness is connected to energetic and spiritual wellness, and my experience has confirmed this wisdom. The practice has helped remove blockages in my energy pathways, allowing life force to flow more freely throughout my body.

This process has led to feelings of wholeness and integration I never thought possible. I’ve developed a greater sense of connection to myself and others, experiencing moments of expanded awareness that have contributed significantly to my personal growth and spiritual development.

Breaking Stereotypes

My therapist defies every stereotype I had absorbed about people in this field. She’s an amazing woman who also owns and runs a restaurant with her husband and older children, practicing tantric therapy part-time as a calling. She’s the exact opposite of the typical American Judeo-Christian stereotyping of what they would label as an oppressed “sex worker.”

She proudly identifies as a trained therapist and healer, approaching her work with professionalism, compassion, and joy. Through her example, I’ve learned that healing comes in many forms, often from unexpected sources that our cultural conditioning may have taught us to fear or judge.

Enhanced Intimacy

Perhaps one of the most unexpected benefits has been how this healing journey has enhanced my communication and sex life with my wife of thirteen years. As I’ve learned to release shame, be present in my body, and embrace pleasure as a natural, beautiful part of human experience, these gifts have transferred to our intimate relationship. The openness, vulnerability, and embodied presence I’ve practiced in tantric sessions have created a new depth of connection between us.

A Journey Worth Taking

For anyone carrying similar burdens of shame or disconnection from their body, I would gently suggest considering tantric massage as part of a healing journey. When approached with respect for its traditions and with a qualified practitioner, the benefits can extend far beyond the massage table into daily life and relationships.

Now, a year later at 66, I’m finally experiencing the liberation that comes from reconciling the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of my being—proof that it’s never too late to heal and transform. In my journey, I have come to understand that any practice or activity that engages all four aspects of my being deserves my full attention, and tantra certainly is one of those pathways to wholeness, at least for me.