- The Art of Fucking
EXCERPT FROM The Shy Paramour’s Manual by RANDY ELROD, DFG Doctor of the Forbidden Genitals —For the Guidance of Repressed Persons— (Drawing by Pablo Picasso) It is a shameful matter, dear reader, that despite humanity’s long experience of fucking you still do not know how you fuck, or how you ought to fuck. It is commonly…
- What My Two Affairs Taught Me About Infidelity
I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaisons with two women (one married, one divorced), but what I learned from having them warrants discussion—not between their husband and ex and me. However, it might be interesting to hear that side. No, I submit that it would be healthy if this discussion happened between partners…
- My Raw Thoughts A Few Minutes After the 2024 Presidential Election Was Called
Shock. Horror. Disbelief. Disappointment. Hollow vindication. These are a few of the violent emotions that swept over me this morning when the Associated Press confirmed that a psychopathic criminal filled with hatred has been re-elected President of the United States. Surreal. I would never have dreamed this would happen after the traitorous attempted coup and…
- Four Days of Solitude and Magic at Montserrat Monastery
For the past four days, I have disappeared from the world. No media, no people, no news, just me. Alone with myself. For three nights and four blissful days, I retreated to the Montserrat Monastery, high in the mountains of Spain. Montserrat is a Spanish name derived from the Latin terms “mons” (mountain) and “serratus”…
- My Most Controversial Art Yet. Why?
I grew up smothered by religion. My father and both grandfathers were preachers. Sexual pleasure never came up in family conversations or sermons. To this day. And I’m 66 years old. Never will I forget, at around age eleven or twelve, waking up with wet white stuff covering my sheet. I had been dreaming about…
- What’s Making Me Happy
Many of us are anxious during election seasons, particularly this one when so much is on the line for my birth country. When I’m feeling freaked out and depressed, I turn to things that make me happy, i.e., soothing music—something I put on while I’m cooking comfort food. Here are a few things that make…
- My Latest Watercolor
(Click painting to enlarge) Fragmentation Original Watercolor on Handmade Paper 44 x 50 cm I’d like very much to have painted a cohesive picture with a soothing palette today. I would like to be as good as nature, which, with time, produces flowers and grass to cover destruction. But we are a world of fragmented…
- Let’s Pretend We’re Dancing in the Streets Of Barcelona
They are achingly beautiful, these romantic cities—Barcelona, Paris, Rome. The contours of Europe are far more mysterious and deeply layered than those of America. They are like the “promised land” I had always been told about but knew deep in my heart did not exist. It was like I had died and gone to heaven,…
- Body Language
Graphite and Watercolor on Paper 46 x 61 cm This is the first watercolor I’ve attempted in several months. I am still working on eyes. What does her body language tell you about her?
- Leaving Is Most Definitely An Option
There are times in life when leaving is the only healthy option. To leave is to go away from someone or something temporarily or permanently. So many people stay in abusive relationships (emotional and physical), falsely believing they have no option but to stay. Here are a few things I’ve left, and I am much…
- Dionysus Discovers Self-Help
I was in a playful mood today, and this appeared. Having a bit of fun dispelling the shame of our sexual organs. Especially us men who, as adolescents, needed someone to help us answer the question, “How large is huge?” Heads up: Contains male nudity. Click on penis to enlarge.
- Crecí Muy Parecido a JD Vance. ¿Cómo Acabamos Siendo tan Diferentes?
Leí Hillbilly Elegy cuando apareció por primera vez. La primera parte me conmovió al describir los Apalaches y a su familia y amigos. El resto del libro me pareció poco sincero, con descripciones engañosas y capítulos huecos. Después de la emoción de saber que alguien había escrito un libro muy parecido a mis memorias, A Renaissance Redneck, me dejó…
- I Grew Up Much Like JD Vance. How Did We End Up So Different?
I read Hillbilly Elegy by JD Vance when it first appeared. The first part moved me as he described the Appalachians and his family and friends. The rest of the book felt disingenuous, with deceptive descriptions and hollow chapters. After the excitement that somebody had written a book much like my memoir, A Renaissance Redneck, it left…
- La Alquimia del Otoño
Siempre me ha fascinado la misteriosa práctica de la alquimia. Es un proceso que intenta transformar metales básicos como el plomo o el cobre en plata u oro, descubrir una cura para las enfermedades y prolongar la vida. He encontrado alquimia en los escritos de Carl Jung (un pensador profundo), Paulo Coelho (un poco superficial),…
- The Alchemy of Autumn
I’ve always been fascinated by the mysterious practice of alchemy. It is a process that attempts to transform base metals such as lead or copper into silver or gold, discover a cure for disease, and extend life. I’ve encountered alchemy in the writings of Carl Jung (a deep thinker), Paulo Coelho (a bit shallow), Gabriel…
- The Slow Life
During a recent visit, my dear friend Melissa, always curious, asked me about my daily routine. I struggled to answer her. The next day, I had a eureka moment as I pondered my inability to articulate what I do each day. I am very much a person of routine; for example, I have run for…
- Fantasy is My Adult Sandbox
One of my favorite memories is Dad building a crude sandbox for us children. It was constructed of ancient lumber and filled with soft, fine sand. We would play make-believe for hours and build golden sandcastles that would glisten in the sun, pretending to be brave knights like Sir Lancelot, wielding giant lances, saving fair…
- All My Best Friends
No matter how we define ourselves, we often lack proof that there are others like us, which can be profoundly lonely. Scariest of all, we may begin to understand what it means to be someone who is set apart in some way: because of complexity, race, disability, or one of the dozen other ways society…
- Inside Then Out
One of the most traumatic events in life is experiencing an American religious community from the inside and from the outside. I spent most of my life living, working, and ministering in the “Bible Belt,” the cultural and political epicenter of American evangelical Christianity. Still, I’ve been progressively branded a traitor to the faith during…
- Leaving America
Why did I leave? What was I looking for? How did I get the courage to give up all I knew for a place I had barely seen? Was it the desire to flee the division, turmoil, and seething anger—the racism, ageism, mass murders, and gun violence? Was it a need to escape the trauma…
- The Yes Within Ourselves
We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, to affirm our deepest cravings. The yes within has been educated out, churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out of our being. The heartbreaking truth of life is that we get farther away every year from the yes that was born within us….
- My Erotic Awakening (as an Eleven-Year-Old)
I am trying to remember how I discovered Robert Heinlein’s books. I may have picked them up while working as an aide in my public school library in the 5th or 6th grade or, more likely, at Goodwill, where Mom would take us to buy second-hand books. Thanks to a minister father, I was raised…
EXCERPT FROM The Shy Paramour’s Manual by RANDY ELROD, DFG Doctor of the Forbidden Genitals —For the Guidance of Repressed Persons— (Drawing by Pablo Picasso) It is a shameful matter, dear reader, that despite humanity’s long experience of fucking you still do not know how you fuck, or how you ought to fuck. It is commonly…
I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaisons with two women (one married, one divorced), but what I learned from having them warrants discussion—not between their husband and ex and me. However, it might be interesting to hear that side. No, I submit that it would be healthy if this discussion happened between partners…
Shock. Horror. Disbelief. Disappointment. Hollow vindication. These are a few of the violent emotions that swept over me this morning when the Associated Press confirmed that a psychopathic criminal filled with hatred has been re-elected President of the United States. Surreal. I would never have dreamed this would happen after the traitorous attempted coup and…
For the past four days, I have disappeared from the world. No media, no people, no news, just me. Alone with myself. For three nights and four blissful days, I retreated to the Montserrat Monastery, high in the mountains of Spain. Montserrat is a Spanish name derived from the Latin terms “mons” (mountain) and “serratus”…
Many of us are anxious during election seasons, particularly this one when so much is on the line for my birth country. When I’m feeling freaked out and depressed, I turn to things that make me happy, i.e., soothing music—something I put on while I’m cooking comfort food. Here are a few things that make…
They are achingly beautiful, these romantic cities—Barcelona, Paris, Rome. The contours of Europe are far more mysterious and deeply layered than those of America. They are like the “promised land” I had always been told about but knew deep in my heart did not exist. It was like I had died and gone to heaven,…
There are times in life when leaving is the only healthy option. To leave is to go away from someone or something temporarily or permanently. So many people stay in abusive relationships (emotional and physical), falsely believing they have no option but to stay. Here are a few things I’ve left, and I am much…
I read Hillbilly Elegy by JD Vance when it first appeared. The first part moved me as he described the Appalachians and his family and friends. The rest of the book felt disingenuous, with deceptive descriptions and hollow chapters. After the excitement that somebody had written a book much like my memoir, A Renaissance Redneck, it left…
I’ve always been fascinated by the mysterious practice of alchemy. It is a process that attempts to transform base metals such as lead or copper into silver or gold, discover a cure for disease, and extend life. I’ve encountered alchemy in the writings of Carl Jung (a deep thinker), Paulo Coelho (a bit shallow), Gabriel…
During a recent visit, my dear friend Melissa, always curious, asked me about my daily routine. I struggled to answer her. The next day, I had a eureka moment as I pondered my inability to articulate what I do each day. I am very much a person of routine; for example, I have run for…
One of my favorite memories is Dad building a crude sandbox for us children. It was constructed of ancient lumber and filled with soft, fine sand. We would play make-believe for hours and build golden sandcastles that would glisten in the sun, pretending to be brave knights like Sir Lancelot, wielding giant lances, saving fair…
No matter how we define ourselves, we often lack proof that there are others like us, which can be profoundly lonely. Scariest of all, we may begin to understand what it means to be someone who is set apart in some way: because of complexity, race, disability, or one of the dozen other ways society…
One of the most traumatic events in life is experiencing an American religious community from the inside and from the outside. I spent most of my life living, working, and ministering in the “Bible Belt,” the cultural and political epicenter of American evangelical Christianity. Still, I’ve been progressively branded a traitor to the faith during…
Why did I leave? What was I looking for? How did I get the courage to give up all I knew for a place I had barely seen? Was it the desire to flee the division, turmoil, and seething anger—the racism, ageism, mass murders, and gun violence? Was it a need to escape the trauma…
We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, to affirm our deepest cravings. The yes within has been educated out, churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out of our being. The heartbreaking truth of life is that we get farther away every year from the yes that was born within us….
I am trying to remember how I discovered Robert Heinlein’s books. I may have picked them up while working as an aide in my public school library in the 5th or 6th grade or, more likely, at Goodwill, where Mom would take us to buy second-hand books. Thanks to a minister father, I was raised…