RANDY ELROD

Sensual | Curious | Communal | Free

The Truth Everybody Ought To Know About This Female Mentoring Business—by Patsy Clairmont

Randy Elrod is my friend. Most of the time. Actually the only fissure in our valuable friendship, which I prize, came recently in his blog, “Where are the female mentors?

Where are we indeed.

Women were mentoring before the word was invented. We are instinctively relational which is an enhancing quality for effective coaching. We love investing in others…babies, children, teens, co-workers, nations, pets, oh, yes, and husbands who honk their horn before they back out of the garage to make sure the world knows they are there.

Randy, I know a dab of Spiritual Murine will help you focus better, but right in your midst is a top-notch mentor of the finest ilk….your wife. I’ve had the joy of traveling with Chris, shopping, dining, laughing, and dreaming together. These times of weekly involvement has given me the privilege of observing her with other women. She coaches others with such ease. Not from a list of mentoring musts but from a heart that truly cares about others. I watch her lean in and whisper hope always believing the best and she is the first to applaud their progress and growth. That my friend is mentoring.

You probably didn’t think of your darling wife when you wrote that article because she’s always been that way. Of course, you might have perked up and checked the mentoring box when Chris spent endless hours with the wives of your men’s group always with an invested joy. Maybe you thought it just the wife-ly thing to do. Chris listens well and takes delight in others. But then you’ve been a recipient of that mentoring, oh, excuse me, marriage for years.

You are a blessed dad Randy to have two delightful daughters that carry the flame of your artistic fervor along with the mentoring skills of their mom. Think about it, who has taught you a greater sensitivity to the delicate design of a woman then these two honest young, spunky ladies, who do not hesitate to hold a mirror to your face? They have quickly supported and generously invested in your dreams. And they have helped to keep you relevant in a quickly changing world. Mentoring.

And then there’s your good friend Gail who donates her time and heart to many women…and men. Her tireless energy and passion for the things of God adds to the spectacular quality of her offerings. Gail is practical, solution bound, and willing to loving hold others accountable. This is called m-e-n-t-o-r-ing.

Randy you are my friend, but you were drinking something stronger than Starbuck’s when you wrote “…I don’t know one (non-professional) female mentor.” Really? Look beside you honey, look behind you…uh, oh, look up ahead of you…why for heavens sakes, its female mentors. You are surrounded and outnumbered. You lucky man!

I dare say Randy if you were to make lists, which I know you love to do, that named your favorite songs, books, quotes, and painters that there would be more than a few women who through their offerings nurtured your soul. And what about that teacher who early on detected greatness in you and began calling it out? Mentoring.

As a woman who has spent the last 35 years teaching, training, and spurring women on to change may I say mentors are as near as the woman’s ear sitting beside you. Oh, she might not be able to give you an official “appointment” because of the many hats she wears, but I can almost promise you that she will give you a few precious moments to tell you what it cost her years and tears to learn.

Randy, I do think women mentoring women may look a little less obvious, but the results speak volumes. We may appear like a gaggle of girlfriends shopping the sales, but between the aisles we are working out life’s most important questions, including the best ways to influence our men toward greatness.

You are a great man Randy. Congratulations Chris…good job.

With much love and genuine appreciation for who you truly are,

Patsy (a non-professional mentor)

P.S. Yes, girlfriends I do realize the shortage of mentors (male & female), so why not become one?

The older women (& men) are to teach the younger and let’s face it we are all older than someone. What we give will be returned to us many times over.

Years ago I prayed, “O Lord bring a strong woman example into my life.” What I heard God say in my spirit shook me to the core…”I want you to become that example.” It was far safer for me to have one than become one. Gratefully in the process of growing a strong heart He did, out of the generosity of His heart, send amazing women (and men) to help me forge a worthy path.

What are YOUR thoughts?

Patsy Clairmont is a Women of Faith Speaker and author of 27 books, her latest offering is “Kaleidoscope.” Patsy is a skittish blogger and a Twitter bug. Join her @patsyclairmont and patsyclairmontblog.com and yes, she is my dearest of friends—and also a true mentor (albeit non-professional) and answer to prayer to my daughters Paige & Lauren.

If this post was intriguing and helpful, please share it with your friends by clicking the buttons below.

88 responses to “The Truth Everybody Ought To Know About This Female Mentoring Business—by Patsy Clairmont”

  1. alece Avatar

    lovedlovedLOVED this post, patsy!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      Yes, Alece. I have to admit, it’s pretty great!!

  2. Paul Steinbrueck Avatar

    Hey Randy, I love that you’re strong and humble enough to publish Patsy’s post here. And Patsy – great post!

    My big take-away here is that men and women view and do mentoring differently. Men tend to have a more formal, structured way of mentoring. We want to know what’s expected, when and how often we’re going to meet, and what the ground rules are. Women tend to have a less formal, and more intuitive way of mentoring. They seem to not only be able to navigate the expectations and ground rules without formalizing them but actually prefer to do so.

    It seems to me that there are pros and cons to each style and some serious dangers on the extremes of either side. I would love to see you and Patsy tag team on the differences or perhaps talk about what male mentors can learn from women and vise versa.

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Paul Steinbrueck, Great insight, Paul I’ll talk to Patsy about this idea!!!

  3. Greg Rudy Avatar
    Greg Rudy

    Good Lawd! What a brilliantly written post!!! I too have been blinded to the idea of true women mentors. I stand corrected, and repentant.

    I will never look at the women in my life the same way again. So many are mentoring me, and I didn’t even realize it!

    Bravo @Patsy Clairmont for setting me…us…straight.

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Greg Rudy, Thanks so much, Greg, for joining the conversation!!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @michelle George, That says it all, Michelle!

  4. michelle George Avatar

    LOVE IT!!! Randy, you are indeed a very blessed man to have such a friend and to be surrounded by such strength and nurture every day! :)

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @michelle George, Michelle, You are absolutely right!!! I am blessed!!

  5. Krissi Avatar

    Haha! This is good, Funny, too! I read that post “accidentally” about the lack of female mentors not too long ago. I didn’t know who Randy Elrod was, so I’m not sure how I arrived at the blog. That happens often, not drinking and surfing, just too much surfing. Anyway, I then arrived again at your blog by way of Michael Hyatt. So now I “know” who you are. :)

    Anyway, when I read the female mentoring post you wrote, Randy, I agreed wholeheartedly. Now I read Patsy’s and I think I agree with her more :). There’s truth in both & I’m really thankful you had her post here. Humility at it’s finest…is that possible?
    Thanks for both posts!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Krissi, Thanks, Krissi!! I can live with that! I’m glad you “know” who I am now!!!

  6. Sue Duffield Avatar

    trump [truhmp] Definition:
    -noun
    1. Any playing card of a suit that for the time outranks the other suits, such as a card being able to take any card of another suit.
    -verb
    2. If you trump what someone has said or done, you beat it by saying or doing something else that seems better.

    The Patsy Trump. New mini-series/reality television show, featuring the wit and wisdom of Randy Elrod and Patsy Clairmont.

    I’d sure watch….!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Sue Duffield, Ha!!!!!!!! I’m laughing so hard at this moment!! So cute and so true!!

  7. Gail Hyatt Avatar
    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Gail Hyatt, Staying. Down. Hunkered. Down. Man. Down.

  8. Rich Kirkpatrick Avatar

    Wow!

    This is an espresso-distilled truth. A challenge.

    I would give you some credit, Randy. You let Patsy and others mentor us as women sharing their wits and wisdom at recreate. :) How rich that has been!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Rich Kirkpatrick, Rich, i LOVE it!! that is quite a compliment from you!!

      I quote: “This is an espresso-distilled truth.”

  9. Ken Davis Avatar

    Two observations:

    1. “The Truth” and Patsy Clairmont are words that belong in the same sentence. If you are Patsy’s friend, you will know the truth. She gives encouragement and correction from a heart of love. You remember her words because they were crafted to make you better not tear you down.
    2. It takes courage to, as one commenter put it, “take your bumps” and share them publicly. This is a courageous post Randy. Posting it, opened my eyes to…………..
    3. ……the wonderful female mentors around me. It is so easy for me to categorize people from a professional standpoint and miss their incredible natural giftedness. The women Patsy mentioned and many more are mentors to me!!! And God knows I need it.

    Thanks for this post Randy. I know there are actually three observations here, but I am too rebellious to make the correction. Perhaps someone will mentor me on that. (-:

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Ken Davis, Ha!! Thanks, Ken. I’ll take three observations from you any day!!!

  10. Jeff Goins Avatar

    I (a male) was mentored by a female in college. It was one of the richest spiritual learning environments in which I’ve ever been.

    Btw, what happened to using Disqus for comments?

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Jeff Goins, Thanks, Jeff!! Disqus is pointing my picture on anyone who does not enter their info…And it is missing several comments…I don’t know what is up…

  11. @kylereed Avatar

    dang. I will definitely not tweet anything about female mentors. :)

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @@kylereed, You are a smart man!!!

  12.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    This point, such a beautiful point about the relational/nurturing/developing nature of women, came up during our Recreate11 Ladies’ Night conversation. It did–we gave nod to this dynamic among women. But, there was still a hunger and dissatisfaction among us… Namely, the hunger revolved around the women-in-ministry arena, which isn’t as much about the relational as it is about the professional.

    That being said, I have been mentored by a number of women, both in the relational arena and in the professional arena, and I count myself VERY VERY fortunate. Nevertheless, I could still use guidance in a few distinct areas of my professional/creative life. And the void is nagging. And real.

    If it hasn’t already been said, I’ll be the one to remind us: Randy’s original post, asking “where are the female mentors,” was written in response to comments noting the lack of female mentorship… If female mentors are surrounding us, why were there so many comments that sparked Randy’s original post?

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @, Good question, Mandy….

      1. mandythompson Avatar

        @Randy Elrod, Just scanned the other comments… I’m glad that Sheri (above) also mentioned that we are lacking in professional mentoring.

        I wish I could compare comments from your “where are the female mentors?” post… But they’re gone for now. If memory serves me correctly, the voice of the mass said “Yeah! Where are they?!” But, now the mass-voice is saying “Yeah! They’re everywhere!” I’m kind of comforted, but also kind of surprised. Maybe it’s because your earlier post leaned more towards a formal mentoring. And maybe Patsy’s post is actually more of a redefining of female mentoring. Ok. I can see that. But the two are distinct in my mind, and meet two different needs.

        Either way, I’m unspeakably thankful that I have had (and still have) both.

        1. Randy Elrod Avatar

          @mandythompson, Yes, Mandy. You are VERY perceptive and you comment is well-taken! I don’t keep comments public except for a short period of time because of a recurring problem with spam. But you are spot on!!

          Thanks!

  13. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Amen! I am a “female mentor!” Thank you Patsy Clairmont for being who God designed you to be! From one mentor to another, God bless you and your ministry!
    Nancy Ninan
    http://www.lonestarcoaching.com

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Nancy, Awesome, Nancy!!!May your tribe increase!!!!!

  14. Kelly Garman Avatar

    I couldn’t agree more! The world needs more mentors!

    I believe that in the business world, both men and women need to step up and take on the role of mentor. College graduates need mentors before entering the business world. Newly elected lawmakers need mentors before attempting to drive their agenda in a culture they aren’t used to. And professional working mamas, like me, need someone: to learn from, ask advice of, bounce ideas off of, hear experiences of….

    Moreover, in the home, dads and moms also need to understand their role as mentor…I am a mentor to both of my children. They learn from me. I want them to seek advice from me, I want to share my experiences and help them learn how to make wise decisions. As a mama of a 7 year old and a 3 year old, I see everything “as a teachable moment.”

    Excellent, excellent post.

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Kelly Garman, Thanks, Kelly. And a resounding YES!!!!! to “The world needs more mentors!”

      May their tribe increase!!!

  15. lelrod Avatar
    lelrod

    Great post Patsy – after reading it I now recognize several “unseen mentors” in my life who I need to thank!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @lelrod, Thanks, La!! Miss Patsy is an answer to prayer…for all us Elrods!!!

  16. Sheri Mackey Avatar
    Sheri Mackey

    Well Patsy – I do not know you personally, but I love you. I read and listen to you and always look forward to seeing you at Women Of Faith. And I think you are right…in certain circles. I have found wonderful women in church and in the community, but when it comes to work….not so much.

    Unfortunately for many women, I am afraid I will have to side with Randy (who I also think is wonderful), at least in large part, on this one. As a woman who has navigated through global corporate for over 20 years and found a lot of success, I have not been privy to a woman willing to mentor from that world. Although I was very successful, how much more successful could I have been with a strong woman as a mentor? Admittedly, it is a very tough environment, but I have never understood women’s unwillingness to help one another at work. The saddest part is, the higher we climb in our careers, the scarcity of women willing to help other women becomes pervasive. I have actually found great mentors in men over the years, but it is often not the same – we simply do not face all the same challenges and look at things slightly differently. I have to hope in those situations, we learn from one another.

    Women at church and unique women within the community do tend to mentor more women – but often it is from a life skills or community interest perspective. I would never say there are not wonderful women (like yourself, Gail, and Chris) who naturally mentor other women – there are and they do. However, it is not so in many cases – specifically amongst the millions of women that work in a corporate environment. It is incredibly sad really – the fact that there is such a need in this context, yet few women are willing to step out and contribute to others success. Through the years I have heard many, many women echo the sentiment that women are not willing to support and mentor other women at work, and as a result I DO mentor other women, as well as teen/college girls, on a regular basis. After all, it has to start somewhere.

    I hope you understand that I am not saying there are not incredible women out there who mentor from both their minds and their hearts – but I am saying it is not pervasive in all scenarios, specifically business. There is an enormous need for women to step up and help other women be successful in business, and this should not be overlooked as it is virtually absent. So, I have to say “thumbs up” to Randy for bringing this issue to the forefront and taking a stand! Thanks Randy, from a woman business executive who knows how hard it really is out there!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Sheri Mackey, Thanks, Sheri!! Well said and thought out.

    2. Patsy Clairmont Avatar

      @Sheri Mackey, I too have been in the business world for many years and I too have found the greater the success the less likely it is you will find people willing to share their secrets to success, which is why Randy and Mike Hyatt are such rare breeds.

      I’ve always been told if you find a need fill it. So perhaps instead of being the recipients we are the Gap fillers. I have found that which I paid a great price to learn through my stumblings and blunder later become the choicest of pearls I have to offer another. She who learns the hard way will either clang with anger or chime with authenticity.

      Loved your honesty and accuracy. Thanks Sheri.

  17. Patricia Hunter Avatar

    Amen, amen, amen!!!!! You tell ’em, Patsy!!!!

    Mentors are girlfriends and mothers and daughters and sisters and in-laws and teachers who know the love and grace of Jesus and naturally share that love and their lives with others. Women and men who are sensitive to the needs of others and consider those needs more important than their own – who take seriously the command to comfort others with the comfort with which we have been comforted (2 Cor. 1.4) without fanfare or recognition.

    And we all need friends like Patsy – who with charm, wit, love and grace – spur all of us on to love and good deeds. (Heb. 10.24)

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Patricia Hunter, “And we all need friends like Patsy – who with charm, wit, love and grace – spur all of us on to love and good deeds.”

      Amen to that!!!!

      Thanks, Patricia!

  18. Jeffrey Holton Avatar

    This is pretty much totally what I was getting at in point four of my explanation on my blog for why I was going to Women of Faith.

    Course, if I recall correctly, it was Randy who told me that I had to (with Spence Smith on backup). Which must mean that I was there because of Patsy’s influence on Randy.

    Her influence is far-reaching!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Jeffrey Holton, Ahhhhhhh, that Patsy woman is even mentoring me….and you!!! Ha!! Thanks, Jeff!!

  19. Felicity White Avatar

    Lovely post, Miss Patsy. I agree completely. Sometimes female mentorship happens even when the mentor has no idea. I can’t tell you how many times a young mother has mentioned to me that she has been watching as I care for my own children (in the hallways at the daycare or in the pews at church) and learning how to both cherish and challenge her own little ones. Not that we don’t crave closer, more intimate relationships, too, but God gives us examples in many ways.

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Felicity White, I love this, Felicity! “Sometimes female mentorship happens even when the mentor has no idea.” Thanks for joining in!!

  20. Jan owen Avatar
    Jan owen

    I agree with Patsy that women may mentor in ways that look different than men. We may not gather in formal groups or sit down with formal questions, etc. I remember my first accountability group. We were given a list of questions by our pastor and I was told we were to ask them of each other every week. We HATED these questions. I remember reading them and thinking “Some man wrote these.” This model just didn’t work for us. I share that to say that perhaps female mentoring may just look different as well – perhaps it’s more organic and definitely more conversational and probably revolves very much around relationships and the daily grind of life. I learned from my grandmother as we had conversations while cooking, or working in the garden, or caring for my kids, etc.

    I tried to think if I have mentored others. I am certain I did as a worship pastor. We normally did this by doing together – planning together, leading together, etc. and then getting coffee afterwards. It was not very formal but it was intentional on my part at that time in my life.

    Perhaps there are not as many of us that are more professional. But there are many who walk with younger women in everyday life. They probably don’t see themselves as mentors though….they probably just see themselves as friends.

    Women are natural encouragers!

    1. Jan Owen Avatar

      why is randy’s picture by my comment????

      1. Jeffrey Holton Avatar

        We are all Randy.

        1. Randy Elrod Avatar

          @Jeffrey Holton, Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      2. Randy Elrod Avatar

        @Jan Owen, Something is up with Disqus – my commenting program… I changed back toComment Luv until I can figure out what is up…

        1. Deana Avatar
          Deana

          @Randy Elrod, Randy this might help. My first comments on your blog showed up as you – but when I chose one of the options when I commented ie.. yahoo, intense debate, etc… the photo changed to me.

    2. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Jan owen, Thanks, Jan for joining the conversation!!!

  21. Lorrie Harden Avatar

    Randy, I love this post! Pasty is spot on on this…I love to encourge younger women, and teens, hence my Dysfunctiona small group has turned into a teen group. I am always looking for women that I can learn from and grow from as well. So reading this post was food to my soul, affirmation as well as showing me that I am right, we do need to be mentoring as well as being mentored. You are blessed to be surrounded by women like this! I have seen Patsy at Women of Faith in years past and LOVE her! I know at ReCreate this year, she totally touched and had major influence on my 16 year old daughter, Anya’s life! In many of our conversations Anya will bring up a Patsy quote from the conference, and I always smile and tell her, how cool is it that she to has been so touched by Patsy Clairmont! Patsy, thanks so much for speaking into my life through WOF and also the next generation, but speaking an influencing my 16 year old as well!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Lorrie Harden, Thanks, Lorrie!! There that Patsy goes mentoring again!! :)

  22. Brandi Avatar

    Loved this. Great reminder for me (I work full time as Girls Minister at a local church) as I tend to be like you, Randy – seeing mentoring more black & white – appointments, purposeful conversations, agendas, measurable growth, making a plan…. and while there is certainly a place for that, God continually reminds me as I work with teenage girls (who are anything but scheduled/measurable) that it really is just about living life with them and speaking truth in the process. “mentoring women may look a little less obvious, but the results speak volumes.” So very, very true.

    Thanks for this, Patsy!

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Brandi, So true from you as well!!! Thanks, Brandi!!!

  23. Deana Avatar

    Randy this is excellent. Thank you for posting Patsy’s response to women mentors. She is dead on in so many ways. I remember being a young girl at my grandparent’s farm house in NY. Women would gather to can or quilt and I would be amazed at the conversations that flowed. They talked about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. That was mentoring going on. Patsy is right, it might not be as controlled or contained as men’s mentoring groups go – but it’s there. It weaves a tapestry in the day to day moments of life. I have had intentional mentors in my life, they were mutually agreed upon mentoring relationships where we did meet weekly for coffee and did talk and learn about specific things. Not everyone does that and so I also have shadow mentors – women I learn from by reading or listening to at conferences – as well as girlfriends. I’ve filled all of those rolls myself for other women and I fill that role as a wife and mother to boys, although I never really thought of that until I read this article. great insight.

    This was a great article. Patsy did a great job pointing out the fabric of female mentoring. It does look different, and I appreciate the reminder that it is really there.

    I’ve never met Patsy, still I find great delight in her speaking and writing and consider her one of my shadow mentors. Here she is again – mentoring not only the women reading your blog, but perhaps the men as well.

    A wise man listens to the helpmates God provides. You are wise man. Take care.

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @Deana, Yes Deana, I love this quote: “Patsy did a great job pointing out the fabric of female mentoring.”

  24. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    Not surprisingly, Patsy is right on target. Thanks for such an excellent guest post! I am fortunate to have been in a Christian small group for over 20 years and we have taken turns mentoring each other. When one of us is depleted, there’s usually one who is filled and has something to give. Then the process reverses. Like the tide, we ebb and flow … and grow. It’s not based on a list or a “how-to”, it’s just life in community.

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Thanks, Diane for joining the conversation. And I agree, it is not a surprise that Patsy is on target. She has much wisdom!!

  25. Chuck Harris Avatar

    You tell em Patsy! as i read that, i could actually hear you standing in the midst of recreate and telling that story. your voice carries to your writing so well. bravo Randy for taking you “lumps” as they would be.

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Ha, Chuck!! i deserved these lumps!!

  26. JennyRain Avatar

    This is why I adore Patsy and have for so long! She has mentored me “from afar” with books and her WOF talks. She is SO right… as I began to grow in my faith the first thing I sought out as a young twenty something, then thirty-something, now {gulp} forty-something woman was an older female mentor. God has SO abundantly answered my prayers in this arena by consistently providing amazing women to come alongside of me, show me how to be a follower of Christ, show me how to
    “be” in full-time ministry, and now show me how to be a godly wife… there are SO many areas that I still have to learn, but am eternally grateful for the women that God has placed in my path. My current mentor (who I meet with weekly) has probably saved my marriage more times than I can even think of and she and her husband pray for me and my husband weekly, regularly, consistently.

    As I have grown in my life and in my walk with the Lord I am now also having the opportunity to come alongside of younger women and mentor them – even as I’m being mentored by older women. So as I get encouraged, then I encourage others.

    I cannot imagine being a part of a community of faith where vibrant, active mentoring doesn’t occur … for the women of my church, it is such a part of who we are :)

    1. Randy Elrod Avatar

      @JennyRain, Thanks, Jenny. From a (gulp) fifty- something, you are truly blessed to have a plethora of mentors in your life!!!

  27. Johnna Bigelow Avatar
    Johnna Bigelow

    If a blog entry ever had a soundtrack, this one would. I could hear the orchestration swell as the “Women’s Mentoring Movement” rose to their feet with unison chants of “Patsy…Patsy…Patsy…” with fists pumping in the air. Well, that’s what we would do if we ever had a chance to all get together. But right now, I’ve got to go pre-treat my daughter’s softball uniform for her game tonight, and finish grading my students’ papers before I go teach my classes and refill my husband’s cup of coffee as he’s preparing to go show property, and…. Well, you get the picture.

    As always, Patsy speaks the truth as only Patsy can. How blessed you are to know Patsy well enough to be playfully chastised by her witty wisdom. I’m glad we can share in the conversation.

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Johnna, I LOVE the orchestral background!! And I am laughing in a good way this moment. Well said!!

  28. Melissa Brotherton Avatar

    “I want you to become that example.”

    Oh Patsy! That is what my husband and I are hearing from God as we have asked Him for mentors in our own life. Thank you for pointing out that mentors aren’t always scheduled and titled. Thank you for reminding me to look around at the people I interact with, the family God has given me and the books/blogs/articles I’m reading and the people I’m listening to online. I am not deficient, I’m just delusional about what it means to be mentored.

    “we are all older than someone”

    This is so true, and it’s only my insecurities that hold me back from pouring into the life of another in the way I wanted to be poured into as a young(er) woman.

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      What a quote!!! “Thank you for pointing out that mentors aren’t always scheduled and titled. Thank you for reminding me to look around at the people I interact with, the family God has given me and the books/blogs/articles I’m reading and the people I’m listening to online. I am not deficient, I’m just delusional about what it means to be mentored.”

      As was I!!

  29. Agatha Nolen Avatar
    Agatha Nolen

    Great observations on both posts. I’ve been inspired to accept Patsy’challenge to become a female mentor. Actually going on the RE:CREATE Cruise 2011 was what really did it. In reflecting on previous experiences I realized that some of my female christian mentors concentrated on some temporal things like being a good wife, how to raise children. At the time I wasn’t married and didn’t have children, so it was difficult for me to listen and learn. What I would like to be is a female who helps others understand God in their life and that has no gender boundaries. Right now I have a group of around twelve (my Circle of Twelve) who inspire my faith. They are about 2/3rd male,1/3rd female. But the focus isn’t on teaching me to be a better female, but to love God more. God is asking me to be patient but I believe He is calling me to start reaching out to others just like Randy, Chris and Patsy do. I’ll look forward to more posts on the topic as God’s plan unfolds

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Awesome!! Agatha!! Awesome. May you tribe increase and the ripples spread!!

  30. Chris Elrod Avatar
    Chris Elrod

    Thank you Patsy for your kind words and insight regarding female mentors. Especially for the fun yet lovingly gentle reminder to my sweet husband whose heart is so fulfilled by mentoring young men. You have opened his eyes to the world of the female mentor. Why, I believe you are the first to bring Randy to his knees since he proposed to me 32 years ago!

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Ha!!! So true!! Love you, girl. Thanks for making me into the man i am…

  31. stargardener Avatar

    Patsy Clairmont {as always!} you have hit the sweet spot of every woman’s heart! Women are experts in multi-tasking — the art of weaving nubby cords of strength and “essentials” with sparkly threads of laughter and fun-stuff — because it all matters! We do this like breathing as we move through our days and roles, both paid and unpaid.

    It is part of the outrageous joy of womanhood, the proverbial power pill that energizes us through the ick-times, as well as a mirror of our experience, talents and ability to nurture.

    Another important point regarding mentoring {as celebrated with me by a delightful “mentee” of mine}: It is not about coaching and shaping. Mentorship is about coming alongside and doing life. It is about learning from one another, acceptance of gifts differing and authentic relationship. {None of us need another voice in our head dictating shoulds and rules, how-to’s and “be-like-me” …}

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      SO TRUE!!!!!! “Mentorship is about coming alongside and doing life. It is about learning from one another, acceptance of gifts differing and authentic relationship.None of us need another voice in our head dictating shoulds and rules, how-to’s and “be-like-me” …”

      So well said!! Thanks so much!!

  32. Julie Kolb Avatar
    Julie Kolb

    Excellent!!

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Thanks, Julie!!!

  33. Kristina Avatar

    I love this! Every.Single.Word. Thank you Patsy! And thank you Randy for having Patsy speak her heart on your blog!

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Ha!! Thanks, Kristina.

  34. SandraHeskaKing Avatar

    Applause! Applause! Yay Patsy!

    And have you looked at Facebook or Twitter lately? Filled with nonprofessionals who spread hope and mentor through their words to the ends of the earth. Women (and men) who speak deep into my life, some without knowing it–and some I’ve been able to hug FTF.

    But there are days I wish I lived in Franklin . . .

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Yes, Sandra, Franklin rocks!! And yes, when I read this post, I indeed see a social network full of female mentors…

  35. Melissa - Mel's World Avatar
    Melissa – Mel’s World

    Patsy Clairmont is pure genius…love her heart and passion for people (men and women). What a great insight into the female mind and heart. Thanks so much for allowing her to share a little piece of it with each of us!

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Yes, she is, Melissa…and I might add…pure mentor as well!! :)

  36. Bill Todd Avatar

    Oh Randy. As soon as Patsy Clairmont was on this subject, you were dead in the water. Juggernaut, man. She’s a five foot juggernaut.

    And as a dad of two grown daughters, I am grateful for all of the women who have taken the step from having a mentor to being a mentor for the women I love the most in this world.

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Yes, indeed, she is a five foot juggernaut!! Ha!

  37. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    “oh, excuse me, marriage…” She is awesome! And so is her insight.

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Ha!!!!!!!! Yes, she is!!

  38. Ladyketo Avatar

    Cyber high five, Patsy! And I’m high fiving you on behalf of the women who have so generously shown me a thing or two about life. Pam, Patty, Grandma, Steph, Deb and, of course, my dear mama. Because of their support, I’ve navigated successfully through breakups, spiritual crises, university degrees and learned how to sterilise a jar before making lemon curd. This post has been a timely reminder for me to go back and say thank you.

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Thanks, Ladyketo for joining the conversation!! Reminders are always good. It has been a timely reminder to me as well!!!

  39. Keith Jennings Avatar

    This is moving! I especially LOVE the distinction between mentoring from a caring heart rather than a calculating head.

    And now I must let this marinate in my head, uh, heart!

    1. randyelrod Avatar

      Yes, me too, Keith, and thanks for being the only guy weighing in thus far so early in the morning!!